Can't You Sea?
by knives4cash
Summary: Team RWBY sails the ocean blues. Hilarity ensues.


Part thirty-three of my RWBY series "Pollination: The Bumblebee and White Rose"

* * *

"Status report!" Ruby Rose demands.

I look out on the infinite ocean as its warm breeze blows across my face, sending my hair back and tickling my sensitive ears. "Well, captain-" I begin.

"Admiral." She immediately corrects.

"Admiral Rose," I amend. "It would appear that-"

"You know what?" She interrupts me again. I look to my left, past Weiss who has her head in her hands as she leans on the deck railing, and stare at our team leader. "I think Supreme Admiral and Commander of All that Is Awesome sounds better." She looks at me with a bright smile. "What do you think?"

"I think-" I attempt. Again. And she interrupts me. AGAIN.

"No, not you." She shakes her head. "Yang. I'm asking Yang what she thinks." She explains, pointing to her sister who stands to my right.

"You know what I always say, sis." Yang runs a hand through her hair as she looks out at the water front. "Go big or go home!"

"Right, how about I give you the status report, and then you can jump overboard for all I care." I suggest, much to my leader's surprise.

"Insub- Insub-" She stammers.

"Insubordination." Weiss offers her with a groan, head still in her hands. I really do admire her ability to put up with such a hyperactive woman. "I think that's the word you're looking for." She mutters.

"Yes! Thank you, Weiss!" Ruby exclaims with a slap on her girlfriend's shoulder. "I won't tolerate insubordination!" She declares with a stomp of her foot.

"Of course, admiral." I nod whilst grinding my teeth.

"It's Supreme Adm-" She begins.

"Of course, ADMIRAL." I interrupt. "The status report is as follows: We're lost. We're hungry. And we're thirsty. The USS Bumblebee has run out of rations and water." I finalize with two growls, one from my voice and one from my stomach. "We're on our third day of being LOST in the middle of NOWHERE!" I raise my voice, agitation just baaarely seeping into my tone.

"Woah, kitty cat." Yang comments, "Don't need the sass." She smirks. "Not that I'm complaining."

A simple glare should suffice. "If you continue to compound my problems, I shall partake in a blood oath to never touch your body to the end of time itself." I normally wouldn't be so snippy with my lover, but when hunger comes through the door, love goes out the window.

Her eyes widen, and her mouth hangs open. "You're a monster." She gasps.

"Then I'm a hungry monster." I bite back.

"Not to worry, ladies." Weiss declares as she straightens her posture and her combat skirt. "I have a solution." She reassures us.

"You switched to Horizon and can actually get a signal out here?" Yang asks with a sharp spike in joy. Her aura's never flared up this sharply in bed. Stop twitching, eye. You're burning calories.

Weiss falters. "No, not exactly." She confesses.

"Have you spotted land?" I inquire with an almost questionable amount of hope. I really should stop getting dragged into these messes.

"Nooo, not exactly." She shakes her head.

"You baked cookies!" Ruby exclaims with joy and wraps her arms around her, puckering up.

"NO!" Weiss exclaims, removing herself from Ruby's grasp, much to the younger woman's pout. "NO! NO! Everyone just be QUIET!" She screams.

We comply, save for another growl from my stomach.

She collects herself. "Wait right here." She commands and leaves us up here on the main deck, retreating into the lower decks of our mighty warship.

Yang leans over and whispers into my human ear, "If her plan doesn't work, we could always fire ourselves out of the Bumblebee's cannons."

"I heard that!" Ruby informs her, crossing her arms. "And honestly, Yang, that's a stupid idea!" She declares.

Oh, Judgement, thou hast not fled to brutish beasts. I sigh with relief.

"As team leader, I'd have to stay behind and push the button to fire the three of you out."

Oh, Judgement, thou hast gotten the heck out of Dodge.

"Oh yeah." Yang murmurs. "We can't have that." She agrees.

I groan. It would appear that overexposure to hunger causes sharp IQ drops in hyperactive girls and their sexy sisters.

"Okay, here we go!" Weiss exclaims as she emerges from the interior of the ship. She holds a mysteriously familiar wooden box. "You can thank your history, girls!" She informs us as she takes her place between myself and Ruby. "Because it has come to our rescue!"

"Is it that special box that gives you money in exchange for the death of someone you know?" Yang asks. Her aura actually flares up. She and I are going to have to discuss the problem with that, assuming we survive.

"Is it that special box that holds dead people's souls?" Ruby asks. HER aura flares too! What is wrong with these two?!

Grimacing, Weiss closes her eyes and takes a deep breath. "Right, if you two don't shut up, this box is going to be that special box that holds your ashes." She deadpans.

Aha- Oh, oh, don't laugh, Blake. You'll only waste your calories.

"Now, if everyone payed attention in the history class." Weiss begins, drawing our attention to the box once again. "We will all recall that the Vikings used hungry sparrows to find land." Oooh, I see what she's doing. "I will remove the lid from this box." She explains, patting the box for emphasis. "The sparrow will fly up into the air until it sees land, and it will then fly in the direction of said land!" She finishes with a smile on her face.

"Thank the Allspark!" Yang exclaims as she pulls me into a hug. "We're saved!" She laughs with joy. Oh, if she weren't crushing my stomach right now, I'd return the embrace.

Ruby nearly collapses with relief. "You've saved us, Weiss!" She declares as she hugs the heiress.

"You can thank me with a wedding in Rome." Weiss quickly informs her. "Now!" She places one hand on the lid of the box. "Let's get rescued already!" And she opens the box.

No sparrow flies out.

We all peer in to see that the bird is lying on its side with its eyes closed.

"I think it's a little too hungry." Ruby whispers.

Weiss spends a few moments in silence before admitting, "I suppose I should've fed it a few times."

"Yeeeah..." Yang murmurs. "That might've helped."

Weiss begins to tear up. "Twas an honest mistake." She sniffs.

"Oh, totally." Yang nods in agreement.

"Definitely not your fault." Ruby gives her a pat on the back as reassurance.

"We can always navigate by the stars." I remind them. Huh, I wonder why they didn't think of that idea sooner.

Yang shakes her head. "Yeah, no. About that." She scratches her head and sighs. "None of us know how to do that."

"I don't even know what the Big Dipper looks like." Ruby confesses, lowering her head in shame.

Tossing the box overboard, Weiss ponders, "I think it's the one that looks like a kite."

"OW!" Jaune Arc suddenly exclaims. How peculiar. It would seem that the hunger has induced illusions.

The four of us peer over the Bumblebee's railing and see Jaune Arc and Pyrrha Nikos nursing a head wound. "What gives?!" He shouts up to us. "We stop by to see how you're doing, and you start throwing things at us?!"

"How did you find us?!" I immediately shout back to them. Illusion or not, I shan't waste a potential opportunity to save Team RWBY. "We've been lost at sea for three days!"

"You have?!" Pyrrha asks, turning her attention away from Juane's head wound. "You've been going in circles for three days!" She informs us.

"What?!" Weiss shrieks. "How is that even possible?! WHEN did that happen?!"

"You sailed out of the harbor and just started going in circles!" Pyrrha explains. "Some time during the night, apparently."

Oh boy.

Ruby and Weiss look at me and Yang. "You two were in charge of navigating at night." Weiss deadpans.

Yang chuckles nervously and yanks on her scarf. "We may have KINDA, sorta been a bit... distracted... by each other's bodies." She confesses. Huh, I wonder if faunus ears can melt from shame. They're definitely red enough to fry an egg by now.

"As team leader, I move we never do this again." Ruby declares.

"Here here!" Yang raises a fist into the air. "For all I care, the USS Bumblebee can sink!"

"Agreed." I sigh with relief.

"As long as we keep our 'bonding' moments away from potentially life-ending equipment, I am in favor." Weiss informs us.

Oh boy, I'm never going to live this down.

* * *

A/N: THIS idea just would not leave my thoughts. "Team RWBY lost at sea." Ugh, I was going to have it end with their firing the guns off in a desperate attempt to alert someone. Godzilla would surface and blast them into body casts. AGAIN.

But, then I wrote Achievement Huntresses Presents, so I couldn't do that.

Blarg, have your fluff and humor.


End file.
